tender

Behold the Medium, sterling silver ring and necklace by BloodMilk. These pieces were inspired by Lily Dale, a small town of spiritualists where the living and the departed commune on a daily basis.

Are these the tender and gracious hands of the spiritualist ... or the spirit?

random acts of remembrance

I honestly don't know how graveyards came to be perceived as places to dread. My neighbor recently buried his mother in a nearby cemetery, and in my opinion he summed it up perfectly when he said that cemeteries are places filled with love. Everybody there was cherished by their family, with hopes that their memory will live on.

These Memento Mori pieces by Lady Lavona capture that sense of magical remembrance. Each tintype is a portrait of a different person. Who were they? How were they remembered by the ones who loved them? And how does our looking at these portraits - remembering them even though we've never met them - bestow upon them a certain immortality? Are they thankful to be remembered?

the beautiful reach

As a child I loved the Ouija board, but mostly for thrills during sleepovers. But as I've grown older I've come to realize the beauty of the board and planchette, and how it was once an earnest oracle to communicate with lost loved ones. I think of the mourning, the grieving, the lovelorn, and suddenly the Ouija is a beautiful symbol of eternal love.

Bloodmilk's plancette pieces (at least for me) convey that sense of loss and love. They are modern mourning jewelry, both symbolic and aesthetic.

I'm also intrigued with this Victorian funerary piece, recast as a dramatic ring. Made of oxidized sterling silver, this "Our Darling" emblem is gorgeously embellished, a stark contrast to the planchette, but just as captivating.

And a final piece - this reliquary locket, created from repurposed rosary beads and a beautiful brass heart locket, connected by a silver seven sorrows rosary connector.

Bloodmilk's jewelry can be worn for its dramatic style. Or these pieces can act as signifiers, letting others know of your longing to reconnect with someone you've lost.

Modern Relics by Alix Bluh

Like a grieving goldilocks, I've been searching for the perfect mourning jewelry. Not too goth, not too sweet. Not too retro, not too trendy. Modern Relics, a line of jewelry created by Alix Bluh, is right on cue - timeless yet modern, and always gorgeous. Her handcrafted necklaces, rings and bracelets feature memorial icons like hearts, anchors and skulls. I'm especially intrigued with her reliquary glass pods, which lend their contents an aura that's both precious and mysterious.

This Eyeris necklace below has a talismanic quality, yet it's also reminiscent of miniature eye portraits that began in the 18th century. Whether it was a deposed king or a forbidden lover, miniature eyes were a way to keep a secret portrait close to one's heart without causing scandal. So romantic and intriguing! (Thanks to Hayden Peters at Art of Mourning for this excellent blog entry on the subject.)

But my favorite piece? This commissioned mourning necklace for a cat who passed away. It's powerful, talismanic, and reminds me of a religious relic.

If you live in San Francisco, reward yourself with a visit to Alix's Modern Relics atelier near the De Young Museum and Academy of Sciences. Her store features lots of beautiful pieces, including the gorgeous work of ceramicist Diana Fayt. In the meantime, please take a look at my interview with Alix!

You are as pure beside me

Here's a lovely little remembrance bracelet by Brass Isaac. I like the way the words are separated yet together, seems poetic and fitting.

These are shrinky dinks, by the way, and can be custom ordered with any kind words you prefer.

Modern Hairwork Jewelry

Hair is a funny thing, it's almost imbued with talismanic powers. To keep a lock of someone's hair is to feel their presence close by. The Victorians used to exchange locks of hair as tokens of affection, a ritual that I regret has been lost. But perhaps not for long.

Stella Saves the Day is creating lovely little lockets made from hair. I love them because the hair is discreet, and looks more like delicate needlework. She's also creating needlepoint based on traditional Victorian hair work as seen below. For more information, please visit her lovely new blog.

Missing Pieces

Losing someone close is like losing a piece of yourself. That's why I love these wood and sterling Puzzle Piece Necklaces by Studio AMF. A modern twist on the traditional mourning jewelry. These are beautiful pieces in their own right, mourning or not.

For me, these necklaces embody a poetic interpretation of this Victorian mourning pendant, with its more literal sentiment Heaven Has in Store What Thou Has Lost, as featured on the wonderful website Things Gone By.

Pool of Tears

"'I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam about, trying to find her way out. 'I shall be punished for it now, I suppose, by being drowned in my own tears!'"

For those who grieve, the chapter "The Pool of Tears" from Alice in Wonderland expresses a familiar sentiment. It seems that we will never see our way past our tears, that we might indeed drown in our own grief. Despite her pool of tears, Alice finds her way back to shore. Alice becomes a symbol of hope when our sadness hits us like a tidal wave.

This Pool of Tears Charm Bracelet, created by Ghost Love Jewelry, is the perfect momento for those in the depths of grief. The bracelet features an image of our heroine Alice, two tear-shaped charms, and a heart-shaped lock and key. A lovely reminder to keep swimming.

Porcelain Wing Necklace

Here's a lovely porcelain wing necklace by Monkeys Always Look. The delicate porcelain wing hangs on a 20" chain. I think this would be a lovely gift for someone who's grieving, or a delicate reminder that our lost loved one is always close to our hearts.

Modern Mourning Jewelry

I find myself over and over returning to Victorian-inspired mourning jewelry. I'm not a goth or steampunk gal, it's just something about the somber mood of these pieces by Mata Hari Jewelry that I find enticing and appropriate.


I imagine this tiny heart and key charm as a piece that could given as a gift to comfort someone who's in mourning. Keep the heart, but place the key close to the one recently lost. If they are to be buried, then the key could be placed in their hand or in a pocket. If the loved one has been cremated, the key could be placed in the ashes. Someday the two will be reunited.

"In Memory" Necklaces

Losing a child to miscarriage can be a tremendous loss. Yet I think that as a culture, we have not adequately grasped the language to express this kind of grief. Many people carry it as a secret anguish, which only heightens the heartache.

This "In Memory" Necklace created by Catherine Marissa is a touching way to acknowledge that loss of a baby. As the artist says, "When I miscarried my twins, I felt a need to have a special reminder of the little people I didn't have a chance to meet. I wanted something simple and personal that I could wear with anything. Thus, the "In Memory" pendant was created."

This pendant can also be personalized for a pet. A paw print or a heart can replace the central symbol. I think this is a charming way to signify remembrance.

Although these Itty Bitty Raincloud Studs (also by Catherine Marissa) aren't specific to grief, I think they are a charming reminder of the clouds of grief we sometimes face, and how "this too shall pass." A kind of contemporary version of the Half-Mourning Period in Victorian grieving rituals.

Time Passes Ring

When we are grieving, time seems so unkind. It feels as if we will never move beyond, as if time has indeed stopped not just for those we've lost, but for ourselves as well. It's important to remember though that time does move, even if we can't comprehend it. Things will get better.

This "Time Passes" ring by Brighid's Forge is a gentle reminder that things will get better. It's a heavy ring, perhaps an appropriate piece to give to a father, brother, or any man who's lost someone - a more masculine version of mourning jewelry. This piece is sterling silver with oxidized letters, and you can request a custom size from the seller.

Many Tears Remembrance Necklace

Words are always so hard to find when we want to convey our sympathy. Here's a meaningful option - a customized, sterling silver Many Tears Remembrance Necklace by Munchkin Mama. Although there are many hand-stamped necklaces out there, this one is special because of the briolet beads, a "cluster of tears" that discreetly yet beautifully symbolize grief.

This necklace will last longer than a sympathy card, and at $20, it's also very reasonable. Instead of stumbling to find the right words, convey all of your love with this simple yet significant gesture. By the way, mention this blog to Munchkin Mama and receive and additional 10% off!

Keepsake Pins

With silver-toned frames, swarovski crystals and delicate ribbon, these keepsake pins by Galsfly2 are a sweet, contemporary interpretation of Victorian mourning jewelry.

Galsfly2 writes, "I wanted to take a small gift-token to a friend or loved one, and just couldn't find the appropriate gift, especially when they had a family member that had passed on and flowers didn't seem to be the right thing. I've even gave them to friends to wear on Mothers Day or Fathers day. A gentle reminder that they are missed."

Flowers Become Beads

What can you do with the flowers after a service? They typically overstay their welcome because we feel too guilty to throw them away. Here's a brilliant solution from JNJ Keepsakes - you can turn those flowers into jewelry!

JNJ takes custom orders, so just send the flowers and they will be returned as a necklace, earrings or bracelet. What a wonderful way to hold on those sentimental flowers! This would also make a thoughtful gift for a woman who's recently lost someone - ask for a few of the funeral flowers, and return them as a keepsake that will last forever.

Keepsake Necklaces

Here are some lovely keepsake necklaces from Gems By Emily M. Their polished simplicity has a sweet, almost utilitarian sensibility. I think these provide a unique way to keep someone's memory quietly close.