a new altar

Wouldn't this DIY lily backdrop make any memorial more gorgeous? I imagine how it would gently sway in the breeze, adding movement and a sense of lightness. Here are the DIY instructions as they appear in Ruffled.

Although this was originally designed by My Hands Made It to be displayed at a wedding, I think it would be a lovely addition to any memorial service. These draped strands of lilies, especially if draped in front of a window or even outdoors, are simply gorgeous as a luminous and ethereal cascade. (For what it's worth, lilies are one of the most traditional memorial flowers, symbolizing the soul's return to innocence.)

As I mentioned in a previous blog entry, I encourage anyone who is faced with planning a memorial service to visit wedding blogs like Ruffled for inspiration. There are so many wonderful (and easy!) ideas that could just as well work for a memorial service. If you think about it, many of the components are the same - guest books, altar, photo displays, flowers, and table centerpieces. Memorials should be just as meaningful and pretty as any wedding!

seeds of sympathy

I have mixed feelings about sending flowers.

I love flowers, I even worked at a florist while at college and absolutely adored being surrounded by their beauty and fragrance. But when the blooms inevitably begin to die, it's a heartbreaking reminder of the fragility and loss of life. Sigh. Perhaps not the best statement for someone who's grieving. So I've been looking for alternatives to flowers. Lil Tin Purse offers a perfect solution, sympathy wreaths made out of birdseed.

Straight from Lancaster, Kentucky, these sympathy wreaths attract and feed songbirds, a precious reminder that life goes on. Lil Tin Purse also offers sympathy seed hearts. They're packaged with care, a personalized note can be included, and best of all, a generous portion of the proceeds goes to the Humane Society.

Repurposed Bouquets

Paxton Gate, one of my favorite stores in SF stores, is now offering floral design.
I particularly like this found object arrangement. Flowers are so fragile and ephemeral, seeing them juxtaposed with something so sturdy is positively poetic.

Flowers Become Beads

What can you do with the flowers after a service? They typically overstay their welcome because we feel too guilty to throw them away. Here's a brilliant solution from JNJ Keepsakes - you can turn those flowers into jewelry!

JNJ takes custom orders, so just send the flowers and they will be returned as a necklace, earrings or bracelet. What a wonderful way to hold on those sentimental flowers! This would also make a thoughtful gift for a woman who's recently lost someone - ask for a few of the funeral flowers, and return them as a keepsake that will last forever.

Fun Flower Arrangements

After college I worked for a florist. Everyday we created arrangements for weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, and of course funerals. The funeral arrangements were the most somber (and the most expensive.) I think people were afraid that if they requested an arrangement with a sense of humor, it would seem disrespectful. So we ended up creating conservative and unremarkable floral sprays, one after another. Gladiolas, carnations, and mums that may as well have been plastic.

I hope that we can get past the fear of being "disrespectful" and find new ways that actually embrace our loved ones' fun side - through flowers.

Embroidered Lace Butterfly

In many cultures, butterflies are seen as embodiments of the soul. The butterfly's metamorphosis from an earthbound caterpillar to a winged creature symbolizes rebirth in its most joyful form.

This handmade embroidered lace butterfly pin or clip, from Sussies and Such at Etsy, could be a soothing "I'm thinking of you" gift for someone going through loss. It could also be used to embellish a flower arrangement, or worn on a lapel. A sweet spin on an otherwise somber event.

Plantable Sympathy Cards

Here's a lovely idea that's both eco-friendly and poetic - sympathy cards made from plantable paper. Created by Greetings That Grow on Etsy, these cards (and envelopes) are embedded with a variety of organic flowering seeds, sure to bring a bevy of hummingbirds and butterflies to your garden.


This is a terrific concept for so many reasons. When we lose someone we love, we receive many sympathy cards. But do we really want to save them? By planting these cards, the sentiments are made manifest by the return of lovely flowers. Although we may have lost someone, we are reminded how life goes on, and how beautiful it can be.

Greetings That Grow also offers plantable tags/favors that could be given out at a service. Appropriately enough, the seeds contained in the favors are Forget Me Nots.


Please contact Greetings That Grow for custom orders.

Flowers That Won't Fade

Sympathy flowers are always a beautiful gesture, but their inevitable death and decay is an unintentionally grim reminder of the loss from which we hope to distract. How about permanent flowers? Not plastic, not silk, but soft, touchable, handmade felt.

Pottery in the Round creates some lovely felted flowers, as well as vases and vessels.

Eco Sympathy Flowers

Let's face it, most sympathy bouquets are uninspired. They tend to look pre-fab and plastic - I'm sure most people who receive them are relieved when it's time to finally through them out. Organic Bouquet offers some lovely organic-certified arrangements that are simple, heartfelt and environmentally friendly. This elegant arrangement of Calla Lilies, Crown Majesty Roses, or this Rosemary Wreath are a welcome alternative to traditional sympathy arrangements.

Flower of the Week: Chrysanthemum

photo by Dries Buytaert
Chysanthemums, or mums (much easier to spell!) have a few meanings. For the Victorians, a white mum signifies "truth".



In China, mums represent grief, and are a traditional flowers at funerals. Red mums for the Victorians represent "love".


Because mums are so commonly used in funeral arrangements, it's hard to find something innovative (I really need to do an entry on flower arrangements!) In the meantime, how about a mum bundt cake?

Flower of the Week: Tea Roses

Tea Roses convey the sentiments, "I'll remember, always." For me, tea roses feel like the most "authentic" roses. They usually come from someone's garden, not from the florist. And something that's been cultivated and cared for (rather than paid for) carries with it that sense of loving cultivation.

Flower of the Week: White Roses

Flowers speak a lost language. Each week I'll profile a different flower. According to the Victorians, the White Rose symbolizes purity. Although this attribute was typically reserved for children and unmarried (and presumably virtuous) young women, I believe purity also applies to the nature of our love for someone.