Bandage Rings

I really love these Pflasterringe bandage rings by Kay Eppi Nokle. They're cast in various metals to look like band aids. Although they relate more to a broken nail than a broken heart, I think they say "I hurt" in a sweet and subtle way. Perhaps this is the new era of mourning jewelry!

Sympathy Blanket

Blankets are the ultimate "comfort food". As children we cling to our security blankets, and when we're under the weather we wrap ourselves in their warm protection. I love warm fuzzy blankets, so perhaps this is why I find this item so touching - a sympathy blanket from Embroidery Outlet on Etsy. Embroidered on this cotton woven throw are the words "In this time of sorrow wrap yourself in love," along with the name of the loved one. The cost is only $40 and especially appropriate if you can't be there in person to offer a hug. It can be shipped directly to the mourner, wrapped with a ribbon and a personalized card. What a great alternative to flowers, which only last a few days. This blanket provides warmth, and lasts as long as it is needed.


When the grief passes, I think this blanket would be a meaningful way to wrap momentos and other keepsakes.

Keep Calm and Carry On

There are so many things NOT to say to someone in mourning (Amy Sedaris has a great list, I'll post it here soon.) Fearing we'll say the wrong thing, we end up saying nothing. I personally am not one for maudlin promises of reunion or syrupy sympathies involving angels, but that's the thing about grief - it's so intensely personal.

These repurposed Scrabble tiles are made by The Gilded Lily through Etsy.I like this stoic and simple statement, originally taken from a British WWII war poster. For the right person, or yourself, it might be the ideal mourning jewelry, especially this black one.

Grief, Mourning, and Prayer Beads

Engino Weinert Prayer Beads from Marie Marie

Prayer beads are nearly universal, providing comfort and clarity in almost every faith. They're as old as religion itself, yet they continue to evolve - mediation beads, "purpose beads", even electronic prayer beads for your PDA. Although I've never owned prayer beads, I have always loved both their look and their intention. Whether they are vintage rosaries or simple meditation beads, I think that prayer beads lend themselves beautifully to remembrance.

Custom wrist mala bead deposit by compassionmalas


Seven Gifts by Prayer Bedes


Prayer Beads for Mourning and Grief by Kathleen A. Stewart

Teddy Bear Urns

One of the most unfortunate design flaws of traditional urns is that they are not meant to be touched. Stoic and solid, they appear to be more like monuments than something you'd want to cradle in your arms. But Hanna Bruce Bears, a "teddy bear doctor" located in Pennsylvania, has come up with a touching (literally!) solution.


Heart and Soul Bears are stuffed animals that contain the ashes of a loved one. If you have a special teddy bear, you can send it to Hanna, or she will provide the bear. The ashes are placed in a sealed container and carefully sewn into the animal. One child lost a father, yet with a small amount of ashes in his favorite bear, he can "hug" his father anytime. What a wonderful and compassionate concept!

For more information, visit www.hannabrucebears.com or contact Hanna at 877-723-2763.

Mourning Dove Studios

Want to create your own memorial item but don't know where to start? For those who live in Arlington, Masachussetts, there's Mourning Dove Studios. There are drop-studio hours as well as workshops to help make the perfect item. It's kind of like paint-your-own pottery studios, but for grieving. Mourning Dove also has a Reading Room, Home Wake consultations, as well as access to resources, from deathbed choirs (!) to eco-friendly funeral directors.

I think the most important resource, however, is the sense of community offered at a place like this. How often do you find Grieving Rooms? It's a much needed place to connect with others going through the process, or who understand what you're experiencing. I hope that Mourning Dove Studios becomes a franchise!

The Long Goodbye

Writer Meghan O'Rourke is posting a series of articles that deal with grief on Slate. One entry, called "Finding a Metaphor for Your Loss", particularly moved me. O'Rourke talks about how we look for our lost one in the world around us - in the air, the wind, the sea, or the trees. It's more than a metaphor, it's a search for a sign - a physical manifestion of the one we lost, proof that they are still part of this world.

The truth is, I need to experience my mother's presence in the world around me and not just in my head. Every now and then, I see a tree shift in the wind and its bend has, to my eye, a distinctly maternal cast. For me, my metaphor is—as all good metaphors ought to be—a persuasive transformation. In these moments, I do not say to myself that my mother is like the wind; I think she is the wind. I feel her: there, and there. One sad day, I actually sat up in shock when I felt my mother come shake me out of a pervasive fearfulness that was making it hard for me to read or get on subways. Whether it was the ghostly flicker of my synapses, or an actual ghostly flicker of her spirit, I don't know. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hoping it was the latter.

For me, it's always been birds. Seeing a bird that appears to be lingering a little longer than usual makes me think perhaps that's my grandmother coming to check in on me.