you are loved...

Sometimes we all need to be reminded.

Shanna Murray's lovely wall decals provide a sweet way to remember. Alone or adorned with pictures or mementos, these decals can be placed on a window, a wall, or any place that will help brighten your day.

It's funny, I had just been thinking about the symbolism of knots, thanks to Art of Mourning's Symbolism Sundays (one of the highlights of my week):

Let’s take a look at the knot itself. The symbol itself is woven in on itself, enough to consider that two individuals are tying together to establish an interwoven union where two become one in the symbol. Next, there is the understanding of the knot becoming tighter as the two ends become further apart. Once again, distance only makes two people closer through its very nature. The knot also loops around on itself and travels in an eternal twist, for the love between the couple is forever undying. Put all these together and you have a rather special and beautiful symbol, one that encompasses much of the basis of what sentimental jewels are created for.

not the stars

For me, when it comes to words of comfort, packaging is everything. I love the toughness of this distressed wood plaque, available at Patina. The nice thing about these plaques (there are lots) is that they become design elements in their own right. The words almost become secondary to the composition, so the message is there waiting for you when you choose to read it.

seeds of sympathy

I have mixed feelings about sending flowers.

I love flowers, I even worked at a florist while at college and absolutely adored being surrounded by their beauty and fragrance. But when the blooms inevitably begin to die, it's a heartbreaking reminder of the fragility and loss of life. Sigh. Perhaps not the best statement for someone who's grieving. So I've been looking for alternatives to flowers. Lil Tin Purse offers a perfect solution, sympathy wreaths made out of birdseed.

Straight from Lancaster, Kentucky, these sympathy wreaths attract and feed songbirds, a precious reminder that life goes on. Lil Tin Purse also offers sympathy seed hearts. They're packaged with care, a personalized note can be included, and best of all, a generous portion of the proceeds goes to the Humane Society.

I'll fly away

How do we remember those we've lost? How can we hold on to our memories and keep them close? One of the most tangible items - and ironically the quickest to be discarded - is clothing. Instead of donating the clothes of one who has passed on, keep a few items and have them transformed into something special that can shared with friends and family. And nothing is more perfect than a flock of birds - these creatures both unite those who need comfort, and remind us that our loved one has simply taken flight to a better place.

These birds, made from repurposed clothing, will bring comfort and peace to those who grieve. A colorful coat, a plaid shirt, any clothing item can be reborn as a flock of friendly birds to be shared among friends and family. A great example of this concept are these Springtime Birds by While She Naps at Etsy.

Ann Wood Handmade also has some adorable repurposed birds:

I'm not sure if these vendors are currently taking custom orders, but I'll keep looking until I find someone who does. (Please email me if this is something you're interested in, and I'll do my best to find a resource.) I think these birds provide a loving and meaningful memento, and remind us that sometimes one must fly away to truly find peace.

The sentimental can be found in the every day

I don't know about you, but I'm very sentimental when it comes to coffee mugs. In the morning when I'm choosing my mug, I sometimes think the day's fortune will be determined by the mood of the mug - the cheap coffee cup from our Kauai trip means I'll have a relaxing, laid-back day, while the mug that belonged to my mother means she'll be looking out for me. I choose this one when I need an extra boost of love. And God forbid if I should break a mug! I think I would cry for days.

It's time to recognize the inherent sentimentality of the everyday coffee mug, and make sure our cupboards are filled with beautiful cups. If you know someone who is going through a tough time, a well-intentioned mug with a cheerful or comforting thought might be the perfect sympathy gift. I love these mugs from Brookish:

Brookish is a Jane Austen fan (as am I!) In the words of Captain Wentworth in Jane Austen's Persuasion, Half Agony Half Hope captures that sentiment of being separated from the one you love. Despite the agony, there is always hope. My personal favorite is the Mr. Darcy's proposal mug:

And there is always the option to customize your mug with your own words of comfort.

Thank you, Deliasthompson, for this lovely link!

Sympathy Print

I am quite fond of this Sympathy Print I'm So Sorry For Your Loss by Scottish artist Suzanne Wolcott. At 8" x 10", it's more than a card. The image conveys a sense of sorrow, avoiding those anxious words of encouragement when what we really need is to just be sad and grieve.

Embroidered Lace Butterfly

In many cultures, butterflies are seen as embodiments of the soul. The butterfly's metamorphosis from an earthbound caterpillar to a winged creature symbolizes rebirth in its most joyful form.

This handmade embroidered lace butterfly pin or clip, from Sussies and Such at Etsy, could be a soothing "I'm thinking of you" gift for someone going through loss. It could also be used to embellish a flower arrangement, or worn on a lapel. A sweet spin on an otherwise somber event.

Sympathy Blanket

Blankets are the ultimate "comfort food". As children we cling to our security blankets, and when we're under the weather we wrap ourselves in their warm protection. I love warm fuzzy blankets, so perhaps this is why I find this item so touching - a sympathy blanket from Embroidery Outlet on Etsy. Embroidered on this cotton woven throw are the words "In this time of sorrow wrap yourself in love," along with the name of the loved one. The cost is only $40 and especially appropriate if you can't be there in person to offer a hug. It can be shipped directly to the mourner, wrapped with a ribbon and a personalized card. What a great alternative to flowers, which only last a few days. This blanket provides warmth, and lasts as long as it is needed.


When the grief passes, I think this blanket would be a meaningful way to wrap momentos and other keepsakes.

Plantable Sympathy Cards

Here's a lovely idea that's both eco-friendly and poetic - sympathy cards made from plantable paper. Created by Greetings That Grow on Etsy, these cards (and envelopes) are embedded with a variety of organic flowering seeds, sure to bring a bevy of hummingbirds and butterflies to your garden.


This is a terrific concept for so many reasons. When we lose someone we love, we receive many sympathy cards. But do we really want to save them? By planting these cards, the sentiments are made manifest by the return of lovely flowers. Although we may have lost someone, we are reminded how life goes on, and how beautiful it can be.

Greetings That Grow also offers plantable tags/favors that could be given out at a service. Appropriately enough, the seeds contained in the favors are Forget Me Nots.


Please contact Greetings That Grow for custom orders.

Memorial Photos

Most memorial pics are solemn and serious, formal sit-down portraits with the life sucked out of them. Is that how we really remember people? For me, it's those casual snapshots that hold the most personality. By transforming them into art, it's possible to elevate and honor the candid moment into something meaningful and fun.

Emmie Bean can transform that favorite snapshot into art. I love the humor (and even cheekiness) of this images. What a great way to immortalize the small yet significant moments that truly capture our favorite memories.

If you know someone who's recently gone through a loss, a gift certificate for one of these works would be a truly thoughtful gesture - much more unique than a bouquet of sympathy flowers, and also less expensive!

Repurposed Jewelry

I have bags of meaningful jewelry, from costume trinkets to special pearls. But I rarely wear them as is - they are either falling apart, or I feel more like I'm playing "dress up". Repurposing this jewelry - taking the best and making something even better - is a great way to honor my family's fabulous taste with a new twist that's specifically my own.

I found Voleur de Bijoux on Etsy, a designer who upcycles vintage jewelry into gorgeous items. I especially love the charm necklaces. She captures the spirits of specific eras, from Boho Chic to Americana Classic. Check out this Nefetia Mata Hari Vintage Bumble Bee with Turquoise necklace:

Or this Margo Edwardian Couture Vintage Brass Leaf with Crystal Prism Necklace:

This Roxy London Glam Antique necklace is especially exquisite. This ravishing neckace has a narrative, a point of view that captures a specific time and place.

Voleur de Bijoux understands how collected pieces put together can tell a unique story. I'm gathering some pieces to have transformed into a signature piece that captures my glamorous grandma's 1940's style, yet feeling modern enough for me to wear everyday. I'll be sure to post a "before & after"!

Keep Calm and Carry On

There are so many things NOT to say to someone in mourning (Amy Sedaris has a great list, I'll post it here soon.) Fearing we'll say the wrong thing, we end up saying nothing. I personally am not one for maudlin promises of reunion or syrupy sympathies involving angels, but that's the thing about grief - it's so intensely personal.

These repurposed Scrabble tiles are made by The Gilded Lily through Etsy.I like this stoic and simple statement, originally taken from a British WWII war poster. For the right person, or yourself, it might be the ideal mourning jewelry, especially this black one.

Flowers That Won't Fade

Sympathy flowers are always a beautiful gesture, but their inevitable death and decay is an unintentionally grim reminder of the loss from which we hope to distract. How about permanent flowers? Not plastic, not silk, but soft, touchable, handmade felt.

Pottery in the Round creates some lovely felted flowers, as well as vases and vessels.

Grief, Mourning, and Prayer Beads

Engino Weinert Prayer Beads from Marie Marie

Prayer beads are nearly universal, providing comfort and clarity in almost every faith. They're as old as religion itself, yet they continue to evolve - mediation beads, "purpose beads", even electronic prayer beads for your PDA. Although I've never owned prayer beads, I have always loved both their look and their intention. Whether they are vintage rosaries or simple meditation beads, I think that prayer beads lend themselves beautifully to remembrance.

Custom wrist mala bead deposit by compassionmalas


Seven Gifts by Prayer Bedes


Prayer Beads for Mourning and Grief by Kathleen A. Stewart