beautiful urn cover

I am so amazed at the beauty of this piece by Pondhopper Studio! It's a one-of-a-kind, hand-sewn urn cover, commissioned by me. This is a unique concept, and I hope that Pondhopper's covers will catch on quickly and become another option for keeping a loved one cozy and close to home.

For me, it began when I picked up my mother's ashes at the funeral home, just days after her service. They handed me a plastic box, similar in size to a shoe box. I didn't quite know what to do next nothing felt emotionally right. The urns I had seen did not look like anything I wanted to display. And to be honest, I wasn't ready to take her ashes out of the box. So I displayed the plastic box in the bookshelf for a while. Later I knit an urn cozy to wrap around the box, but my knitting skills are rudimentary at best. While it was the gesture that mattered, I still hoped to find something that perfectly suited my sentimental memories of her.

I came across Lorraine's Pondhopper Studio shop on Etsy last year, and was blown away by the beauty of her repurposed sewn creations - from skirts to spats, dresses to wraps. When I approached her about possibly making an urn cover, she immediately understood the concept. We both believe in repurposing sentimental items, and it was a perfect fit. I cannot believe how lovely this cover is, just look at the amazing detail!

I'm very excited to announce that Pondhopper Studio now has a Modern Mourner section in the Etsy shop, and I'll be featuring a link to Lorraine's work on my upcoming website. I think this is the beginning of an amazing new product. Whether you plan on scattering a loved one's ashes and want something beautiful to carry them in, or if you'd like to keep them close to home, Pondhopper's repurposed urn covers are a simply stunning and original concept. Each cover is lovingly handmade, and can be personalized with your own sentimental remnants.

I've even ordered one for myself, loosely based on Victorian mourning clothing. I see it as a personal memento mori that will lovely to look at. I'll be sure to post pictures when it's complete. In the meantime, check out Pondhopper Studio's blog.

flea market find

I was very excited to find these modest remembrance cross stitch samplers at the Alameda Flea Market last week. Perhaps I'm looking in the wrong places, but finding remembrance or mourning items in California is rare. Did we leave our mourning skills behind when we migrated west? I was also thrilled that they cost only $10 each. What a deal!

My first impulse was to change the frames, but on closer look I realized the framing itself is fairly old - a Ben Franklin Crafts store purchase from the 50's or 60's. I imagine someone inherited these samplers several years ago, and lovingly framed them as part of their personal history. Even though the framing's not my taste, I have to respect they are part of the heritage and leave them be.

Speaking of personal history, I also spent the weekend in our loft going through old photo albums, looking for pictures of my dad for his upcoming memoir, "Confessions of a Horseshoer", to be published by a university press. I'm so proud of him! He's led an amazing life and continues to inspire me everyday. My favorite cat Gentle Henry kept me company, and by the looks of it got a little bored with the process.

You are as pure beside me

Here's a lovely little remembrance bracelet by Brass Isaac. I like the way the words are separated yet together, seems poetic and fitting.

These are shrinky dinks, by the way, and can be custom ordered with any kind words you prefer.

Vintage Funeral Chair

I love the stoic nature of this vintage French funeral chair, offered by Hindsvik on Etsy. So practical and modest and rustic. Most vintage furniture evokes a narrative for me, and with this folding chair I wonder how much grief this fragile chair has beared over the years. I think of all the people who must have taken a seat here at one point, and wonder what they were thinking. It seems like an extra chair, stacked in the corner for those who arrive late. Perhaps delayed in the rain, or ambivalent about attending the service, or kindly giving up their more stable seat to someone who needs it.

Modern Hairwork Jewelry

Hair is a funny thing, it's almost imbued with talismanic powers. To keep a lock of someone's hair is to feel their presence close by. The Victorians used to exchange locks of hair as tokens of affection, a ritual that I regret has been lost. But perhaps not for long.

Stella Saves the Day is creating lovely little lockets made from hair. I love them because the hair is discreet, and looks more like delicate needlework. She's also creating needlepoint based on traditional Victorian hair work as seen below. For more information, please visit her lovely new blog.

Family Tree

Although this blog is about mourning, it's also about remembering. Time eventually separates us all, but there are ways to keep the sentiments alive and part of our daily lives.

Soul Peaces creates some gorgeous custom lockets that allow you to turn your precious family photos into keepsake jewelry. These handcrafted pieces are both delicate yet rough, modern yet antiquated. They're made from a variety of materials, from recycled sterling silver and brass to semi-precious gems - even unexpected yet completely appropriate materials like worn leather in this photo book below:

I also adore this Family Tree piece, a silver branch with leaves to represent each member. What a charming way to keep your family close to your heart!

My Boy Builds Coffins

Coffins should be made by someone who respects the process. They should not be anonymous nor mass produced.

I love Simple Pine Boxes, a blog by a "box maker" who promotes the concept of honestly, simplicity and connection.

Change Is in The Air!

Sally the Mod Baby Chick by Lizix26

Apologies for the recent decline in posts. I've been working on converting this blog into a website, and I'm very excited about it.

I began this blog with the hopes of highlighting ways to remember that are both traditional and modern. As a culture, it seems we've lost our way when it comes to honoring our loved ones. I love the sentiments of Victorian mourning culture, but today those rituals are no longer truly authentic to who we are today. It's time to reconsider how we remember, and approach the subject with love and joy.

The Modern Mourner website will feature artists and crafters who can help us reconnect with those we've lost. The Modern Mourner is also a celebration of sentimentality, and cherishing those items we have today. We live in a disposable culture, and I hope that we can learn to repurpose everyday items into meaningful objects of remembrance - discarded T-shirts can become a quilt; a man's dress shirt can be transformed into a dress for a young girl; a box of old costume jewelry can be reimagined into something unique and contemporary.

The Modern Mourner website will offer services for those who'd like to transform their inherited items into handmade, precious mementos. We'll also have a section for Sympathy Gifts, as well as options for those currently experiencing loss. In the year that I've had this blog, it's apparent that there's a great need for alternatives to what's out there.

Above all I'd like offer my gratitude to all the artists I've featured over this last year - their work has inspired me, and I hope to pass it on and make it accessible. Please keep posted for more details soon!

Repurposed Bouquets

Paxton Gate, one of my favorite stores in SF stores, is now offering floral design.
I particularly like this found object arrangement. Flowers are so fragile and ephemeral, seeing them juxtaposed with something so sturdy is positively poetic.

Missing Pieces

Losing someone close is like losing a piece of yourself. That's why I love these wood and sterling Puzzle Piece Necklaces by Studio AMF. A modern twist on the traditional mourning jewelry. These are beautiful pieces in their own right, mourning or not.

For me, these necklaces embody a poetic interpretation of this Victorian mourning pendant, with its more literal sentiment Heaven Has in Store What Thou Has Lost, as featured on the wonderful website Things Gone By.

Heritage Clothing

One of my favorite upcycling concepts is taking inherited clothing and making something new. When my grandmother passed away I kept a grocery bag full of her clothing - I couldn't bear to part with something that held so many memories. But I couldn't exactly wear the clothing as it was. I wish I had thought to take her clothing and have something special made from them.

I am currently looking for vendors who would be available to take inherited clothing and create something new. In the meantime, here are some lovely upcycled creations from pondhopper studio. I love the dresses and coats:

But I especially love the legwarmers and spats!

Mourning McQueen

Who else made memento mori so stylish?

With his skull-adorned scarves and jewelry, Alexander McQueen reminded us that fashion is pure vanitas - a temporal luxury soon to pass. Like life, fashion is fleeting. In time, youth, beauty and wealth will abandon us. Only death waits for us in the end. For most of us, skulls evoked some kind of biker chic, a toughness that gave any outfit an edge. But for McQueen, there was nothing ironic about skulls on clothing. With him, it was always a grim memento mori disguised as style.

I am terribly saddened by McQueen's death, and particularly by the circumstances of it. His grief could not be sustained - even before his mother's death. His work seeped with grief. He was caught in a continuous Danse Macabre, yet through some strange alchemy turned the concept of decay into something beautiful and elegant. I will miss him.

This hologram of Kate Moss is so ethereal and angelic, perhaps McQueen's concept of what remains when all else is gone. I hope he has met his angels.

The Oak Sleeps in the Acorn

Amigurumi acorns at PlanetJune

"The greatest achievement was at first and for a time a dream. The oak sleeps in the acorn, the bird waits in the egg, and in the highest vision of the soul a waking angel stirs. Dreams are the seedlings of realities." - James Allen

If I had to choose a modern symbol of hope in the midst of loss, it would be the acorn. Fallen from a great oak, the acorn seems so small and insignificant. Yet it holds so much promise. When we lose someone, it indeed feels like everything is lost. Yet somewhere in the ruins there's a seed for a new beginning. We may not understand it, but I'm pretty sure it's there.


That's why I like the Acorn Urn by AKRA. Made from compressed recycled paper, these hand-finished urns are hardy above ground, yet biodegradable if you choose to "plant" them. In an age when most urns try to impart permanence with marble and stone, these lovely urns are humble in both design and destiny.

Time Flies

Here's a modern memento mori necklace by Butch's Baubles. Clocks have long been a symbol of our fleeting mortality, and this timepiece pendant, along with the hearse and wing (time flies) will remind us that life is indeed short and precious.

Until Death

With Valentine's Day only a couple of weeks away, here's a little memento mori for those in love. A customized Hasta La Muerte magnet by creativitylzette.

Weeping Willows

Weeping Willow sympathy card by Anemone Letterpress

We grew up with a weeping willow in our backyard. I loved getting tangled in the low-hanging branches, I would hide beneath it, and wrap myself up in the green tendrils, making it almost impossible to escape. I've since learned that the weeping willow was a Victorian symbol for mourning.


Here's a few contemporary versions of the weeping willow. First, an organic cotton weeping willow pillow by Enhabitan:


Weeping Willow Hand Dyed Batik Infant T-Shirt by Potomac River Goods:


Weeping Willow Rubber Stamp by Wood Cellar Graphics:

Memory Locket

Here's a sweet heart to keep close to your own heart. This daisy heart locket by Lanyapi Designs is made with antiqued brass, and opens up to keep a beloved picture inside.


For men who mourn, here's a keychain with a heart and wrench. It's called Love Takes Work, and I think it can also be appropriate as a symbol for a heart that's in need of mending.

Repurposed Sweaters

The ability to transform sentimental old knits into something meaningful is a wonderful solution for inherited clothing. There are many options - aprons, quilts, floor rugs. If you can't do it yourself, Reknit can transform an old sweater into something fun, like a scarf (each month a new item is offered.)

But what about the pets in our lives? Why not give your pet something to remember a loved one by? I came across this repurposed sweater/pet pillow on Keetsa.com. If your grandfather has passed away, leaving behind a beloved dog, I'm sure the pet would love to have a pillow made from his old cardigans. What a lovely source of comfort!