Hourglass Urn

Most urns are designed to disguise their contents. But what about not only revealing the ashes, but making them symbolic?

This hourglass urn by In The Light Urns makes "ashes to ashes" literal. It's a bit humorous, a bit memento mori, and completely appropriate. After all, we all run out of time sooner or later.

Votives

Lighting a candle in remembrance of those we love is a familiar and comforting gesture. Yet we rarely give much thought to the candle itself. I love these votives by maryink because they are reusable. Any time you want to send your love, just light a candle!

Keepsake Necklaces

Here are some lovely keepsake necklaces from Gems By Emily M. Their polished simplicity has a sweet, almost utilitarian sensibility. I think these provide a unique way to keep someone's memory quietly close.

Mourning Rings

We wear rings to honor a marriage, but what happens when death ultimately makes us part? This beautiful solid gold Victorian mourning ring (1882) offered by Things Gone By, is a precious reminder that although a loved one may be gone, devotion remains.

Here's a contemporary ring that could also be worn as mourning jewelry. This locket ring by Good Girls Studio provides a little chamber to keep something precious close to us.

New Life for a Loved One's Sweater

What can be done with clothing from another generation? We can wear it if we're into vintage. We can donate it, or we can store it in the back of the closet. Not the most creative options. This blog has been devoted to finding new lives for heritage items. And clothing has so many opportunities for reuse.

Making teddies out of inherited mink coats is a popular form of upcycling, yet we shouldn't forget about the more simple clothing items like sweaters. Pogo Shop creates cute little creatures out of old sweaters. Whether it's a knit from your grandpa or your own sweater that you'd like to pass on to your children in a way that they can keep forever, Pogo's bears are a wonderful way to keep heritage clothing close to the heart.

Memorializing Michael

How will we remember Michael? What makeshift memorials will become his Graceland? I have the feeling his childhood home in Gary, Indiana will become the fans' final mecca. In the meantime, here are some items that are already appearing on Etsy:

RIP Michael Jackson Shirt by Queenkutie


Amigurumi Michael Jackson doll by amicafe


Michael Jackson Tote Bag by Bao Studio

Memory Quilts

I love the look of this Rag Quilt by Wiccked.

Some quilts are impeccably designed and sewn, yet their preciousness means they're relegated to the wall - look but don't touch. For me, the perfect Memory Quilt (made from a loved ones' clothing) should be cozy, something you embrace, something to wrap yourself in. This rag quilt, with its simple square pattern and soft, rustic flannel materials, is a great example of what a Memory Quilt should be. Tactile, cozy, and friendly.

Bracelet Cards

Here's a new one, cards with three lives! Created by Unusual Birthday Cards on Etsy, these handmade creations begin as a written sentiment - sympathy and well wishes. The leather band that holds the card together can then be worn as a bracelet, as modern mourning jewelry. And when the bracelet gives way, it can be used as a bookmark.


This is a great way to extend our sympathy beyond a card, which typically sits on a mantel for a few days ... a short (and literal) shelf life. I also like the fact that this sentiment has multiple incarnations, evolving in time, just like our memories. Great idea!

Fun Flower Arrangements

After college I worked for a florist. Everyday we created arrangements for weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, and of course funerals. The funeral arrangements were the most somber (and the most expensive.) I think people were afraid that if they requested an arrangement with a sense of humor, it would seem disrespectful. So we ended up creating conservative and unremarkable floral sprays, one after another. Gladiolas, carnations, and mums that may as well have been plastic.

I hope that we can get past the fear of being "disrespectful" and find new ways that actually embrace our loved ones' fun side - through flowers.

Coffin Shelves

The concept of a coffin seems so removed from our everyday lives. But what about a coffin design that allows us to enjoy it while we are still alive? As profiled in Inhabitat, designer William Warren's Shelves for Life begins its use as a lovely set of shelves, holding the objects we adore. When the time comes, this system can be transformed into a coffin, ultimately holding us.



The beauty of this concept coffin is the reuse of wood from life through death - no need to spend money and resources on a casket. For me, I love the idea of bringing something personal from our home to be part of our eternal home. I also think these shelves act as a subtle momento mori. Just like the precious objects we choose to put on these shelves, life itself is precious and should never be taken for granted.

Mourning Poems

Poetry and grief have a long tradition. From the pre-Romantic "Graveyard Poets" to Yeats, Frost, and many others, poetry seems to articulate all facets of feelings that we often cannot find words to express. Kathleen Sheeder Bonanno's recent collection "Slamming Open the Door" is a raw and unflinchingly honest exploration of her grief after her daughter Leidy was murdered. Here's the poem that moved me the most:

What People Give You

Long-faced irises. Mums.
Pink roses and white roses
and giant sunflowers,
and hundreds of daisies.

Fruit baskets with muscular pears,
and water crackers and tiny jams
and the steady march of casseroles.
And money,
people give money these days.

Cards, of course:
the Madonna, wise
and sad just for you,
Chinese cherry blossoms,
sunsets and moonscapes,
and dragonflies for transcendence.

People stand by your sink
and offer up their pain:
Did you know I lost a baby once,
or My eldest son was killed,
or My mother died two months ago.

People are good.
They file into your cartoon house
until it bows at the seams;
they give you every
blessed
thing,
everything,
except your daughter back.

Here's the NPR interview with Kathleen Sheeder Bonanno.

Think Outside the Urn

Why must urns be so serious?

According to Trendhunter, Dr. Fredric J. Baur worked for Proctor & Gamble for nearly 40 years, yet his crowning achievement was an iconic can - the famous Pringles cylindrical container. Before he died at the age of 89, he asked that his ashes be kept in one of these containers. What a fun way to spend eternity! I personally would go for a bag of Pepperidge Farm goldfish.

Embroidered Lace Butterfly

In many cultures, butterflies are seen as embodiments of the soul. The butterfly's metamorphosis from an earthbound caterpillar to a winged creature symbolizes rebirth in its most joyful form.

This handmade embroidered lace butterfly pin or clip, from Sussies and Such at Etsy, could be a soothing "I'm thinking of you" gift for someone going through loss. It could also be used to embellish a flower arrangement, or worn on a lapel. A sweet spin on an otherwise somber event.

Bandage Rings

I really love these Pflasterringe bandage rings by Kay Eppi Nokle. They're cast in various metals to look like band aids. Although they relate more to a broken nail than a broken heart, I think they say "I hurt" in a sweet and subtle way. Perhaps this is the new era of mourning jewelry!

Sympathy Blanket

Blankets are the ultimate "comfort food". As children we cling to our security blankets, and when we're under the weather we wrap ourselves in their warm protection. I love warm fuzzy blankets, so perhaps this is why I find this item so touching - a sympathy blanket from Embroidery Outlet on Etsy. Embroidered on this cotton woven throw are the words "In this time of sorrow wrap yourself in love," along with the name of the loved one. The cost is only $40 and especially appropriate if you can't be there in person to offer a hug. It can be shipped directly to the mourner, wrapped with a ribbon and a personalized card. What a great alternative to flowers, which only last a few days. This blanket provides warmth, and lasts as long as it is needed.


When the grief passes, I think this blanket would be a meaningful way to wrap momentos and other keepsakes.

Memorial Candles

I find remembrance candles comforting. They are something we should have on hand when we need the reassurance that our loved ones may be gone, but their warmth and love continues to shine on us.

Domestic Divas Fancy's candles are custom designed, and if you are struggling to find the right words, this seller offers a selection of heartfelt poems. Here's one option:

We thought of you with love today
But that is nothing new
We thought of you yesterday
And days before that too
We think of you in silence
We often speak you name{s}
Those we love dont go away
They're with us everyday
Unseen, Unheard, but always there
Although it seems unfair
Your memory is our keepsake
With which we'll never part
God has you in his keeping
You're forever in our hearts

Plantable Sympathy Cards

Here's a lovely idea that's both eco-friendly and poetic - sympathy cards made from plantable paper. Created by Greetings That Grow on Etsy, these cards (and envelopes) are embedded with a variety of organic flowering seeds, sure to bring a bevy of hummingbirds and butterflies to your garden.


This is a terrific concept for so many reasons. When we lose someone we love, we receive many sympathy cards. But do we really want to save them? By planting these cards, the sentiments are made manifest by the return of lovely flowers. Although we may have lost someone, we are reminded how life goes on, and how beautiful it can be.

Greetings That Grow also offers plantable tags/favors that could be given out at a service. Appropriately enough, the seeds contained in the favors are Forget Me Nots.


Please contact Greetings That Grow for custom orders.

Keepsake Shelves

How do we hold on to the momentos that remind us of our loved ones? I'm not a big believer in "shrines" - there's no beginning or end to them. And the word "shrine" feels like we need to worship, when really all we want to do is remember. But I love the idea of a keepsake shelf.


Sawdusty's Cabin at Etsy creates "Farmhouse Primitives" - shelf sitters, racks, signs, rolling pin/spice racks, the kinds of things you'd imagine in your great grandmother's kitchen. They evoke a specific mood and era, and seem like the perfect way to remember the vintage pictures, salt shakers, flour sifters, and other items that get handed down. I especially like how they feel at home in the kitchen, because let's face it - most of the items we inherit from our ancestral womenfolk are going to be from the kitchen.


Sawdusty's Keepsake Shelves, however, can be placed anywhere. I think they'd look especially nice as part of a bookshelf, holding grandma's old bible or grandpa's pipe. All those items we keep stored away because we don't know what to do with them finally have a home.

Memorial Photos

Most memorial pics are solemn and serious, formal sit-down portraits with the life sucked out of them. Is that how we really remember people? For me, it's those casual snapshots that hold the most personality. By transforming them into art, it's possible to elevate and honor the candid moment into something meaningful and fun.

Emmie Bean can transform that favorite snapshot into art. I love the humor (and even cheekiness) of this images. What a great way to immortalize the small yet significant moments that truly capture our favorite memories.

If you know someone who's recently gone through a loss, a gift certificate for one of these works would be a truly thoughtful gesture - much more unique than a bouquet of sympathy flowers, and also less expensive!

Mourning Rings

Beautiful and unique mourning rings by Emily Watson. Visit her Etsy store at emikw.

Remember Me

What do you do with a photo of a grandmother, a great-grandmother, a person from another era who's part of your history yet you hardly knew, if you knew them at all? Somehow, frames don't seem to be adequate. Something else is required to bridge the distance between times.

I came across this Remember Me Sampler by Miniature Rhino at Etsy, and it seems to me the perfect solution. The intimate, handmade quality of needlepoint framing a vintage tintype photo, along with the words "Remember Me, When This You See" feels both contemporary and timeless. It's framed by a wooden embroidery hoop, with archival fabric glue holding the embroidery linen in place.


This piece is a perfect way to think outside the frame, a thoughtfully-crafted reminder to remember those forgotten.